Persistent, isn't it?

Persistent, isn't it?

Even blasting myself with light all morning I feel just as exhausted this afternoon as I did the past... few months now. I have ruled out protein deficiency and vitamin D deficiency. I don't eat much fat at all, only about a tbsp of olive oil or so a day. Not much carbohydrate aside from the occasional potato or pasta.

It's really starting to look like the physical effect of a mental cause. It is a sunny day but still I am so incredibly low on energy. Sometimes it feels like I will just pass out here at my desk. I will start with exercises tomorrow if I can find a place to do them... nowhere in the house has any room to move these days since I had to plastic up the bedroom and all that.

I try to fight through but I just can't break this. I'll get some lunch and try to get some more server work done. Maybe I'll somehow feel better. Can't just give up.

Managed to get another windows guest running on the servers, I mean I have 2 keys so I may as well have em in use, right? I also wrote out yet another idea for a game. Never anything simple with me, though, as usual. It's a complex one as usual.

Still kinda barely holding on as far as energy goes but I am at least somewhat productive. Better than nothing, anyway. I can't live with myself unless I get something done. It eats at me and drives me crazy.

Time for a shower, looks like. Doubt it'll give me much energy but every little bit helps. Then... who knows?

Welp, showered and did some more server work. Had to do a bit of config on the new windows server guest.

I was planning a thing a month style... thing... but I should know better after all this time that I don't do that sort of thing well. Any sort of schedule with me ends up trashed inside a week. All my most successful projects had no schedule and fell apart as soon as I tried to incorporate one. I just woke up, started working on it and clocked out at the end of the day.

I should just set up a bunch of things I want to do and pick them and do them. Alright, so... I have this list of ideas and systems and some of them I really want to work on at the moment, others not so much. Maybe if I just... pick one and get started it will get me rolling again and I can break this fucking accursed depression or whatever it is.

So I'll just do that. Schedules never work for me despite trying for years to force myself into them. I just need to work and not think about deadlines or timelines.

I have been wanting to build a multi-character control system for both crafty-survival and combat systems for a while now. Either with space ships or humanoids. I'll start with that as it's at the forefront of my mind. I will build these systems as self-contained as possible so I can fit them all together as I go and who knows, this could be the first step of the first fully released game I make.

To start out I need to figure out the base controller system I will need... humanoid or ship? Humanoid would be easier physics-wise, ship would require more physics calculations but less animation. Hmm...

Man, it's hard to say. I can do both, certainly, and I probably will. But I have to pick one to start.

I messed around with writing space ship controller, realizing I have very little experience with the physics systems in Godot. Might be quicker to start with some little mans and maybe they build ships later, who knows? I don't.

I will consider what would be better to start out and sleep on it, it's time to clock out. I'll come back to it in the morning and hopefully have a decision then.