Seasonal Affective Disorder?
It would appear at least on the surface that my issue with game development or really working on projects in general are related to the seasons. Looking back through logs I see that I just crash around November and remain so, struggling as hard as I can against it until about April but getting nowhere.
I've been taking vitamin D supplements to try and counteract it but this seems to be doing nothing. I just feel miserable all the time and can't seem to focus and I lack any passion for anything. I should probably see a therapist or something since I am not getting too far fighting with this on my own. Seems to be getting worse every damn year.
I need to be productive or I am not getting out of this mess. I will try adding some bright light to the office I guess... I don't have an easy way to get to appointments at the moment, especially not weekly ones. I really need to sort this shit out though, I can't keep going like this. If I can just break it enough that I can function I can get back on track with game development. Right now anything I set out to do is just obliterated by loss of focus and complete destruction of all energy by about 11am and it just gets worse through the day.
Caffeine has no effect on it. Changes to my diet do nothing. Exercise is kinda hard to get, I have nowhere in the house to exercise and it gets mighty cold out there some days to prevent anything outdoors. People talking about getting exercise equipment like that's something you can just do. Yeah, I'll got my imaginary bank full of imaginary money and imagine a withdrawal for an imaginary treadmill.
Guess I will build myself some lights to trick my brain, get something to make the office smell nice and try to make some space to do some basic exercises and hope not to mash my noggin. Until I have a reliable transportation or managed to move my ass to a city somewhere I will have to deal with this using what I have available to me.
Well, guess we'll just have to see if it works and also hope this pain in my foot is going to pass. In the meantime I am just going to get out of here for today. I did some work on the servers and that's about it really.