The ramp up

So I have been experimenting kind of stream of conscious-like with Godot, trying to work out solutions to past progress blockers as well as just doing whatever comes to mind, rather than forcing myself to a structure and a schedule I am just doing whatever.

This is partly to prepare myself for the second round with the MMO project and partly to kinda work out what's going on with me lately. I've been all over the map, unable to focus my mind on any single project for more than a couple of days. The only solid thing has been my guitar practice, which has been progressing steadily at least.

Something really derailed the hell out of me a few months back and I still have no idea what or how to get back on track here. I'm not even really sure what I want to do anymore, though in reality I never knew. Game dev just seems to be the thing that keeps me moving forward in general, a common theme in everything I have done since 2004. The odds of me being successful are insane, I know this and it really bothers me.

That feeling of being trapped is really taking a toll, I need to gain the ability to travel somehow. I don't even have a car, can't afford to. I've barely spoken to another person in a couple years. Haven't had a real conversation in quite some time. I want to leave the country, get some time out in the world and figure shit out but I am stuck here. I could focus on web development and probably be able to afford to do that stuff but I don't exactly have a whole lot of confidence in myself these days. Especially not in my social skills.

Back to the project I am using to kinda work things out, I just kinda blocked out the third room in it. Worked out a way to deal with the stupid bug that killed Protobound, actually. I could in theory resume it now, if I wanted. With some rewrites... but that's out. I'll only really be working on 2 game projects for the rest of this year. This weird thing and the MMO.

The game as of now is just a simple wander around 3 rooms with some basic things like camera bounding, area transitions and the character's scale being modified by it's global Y position. I spend more time spriting and animating right now than I do coding. I hadn't really spent much time spriting since March of last year. I can feel it, I went from being able to make some fairly complex sprites and animating them to barely being able to work out perspective.

I guess it's best for me to stick to 2D game dev unless I have a team. What are the odds of me picking up a team when I have no finished projects to show? Yeah, sticking to what I know for now. I'll be using this project to just experiment and learn stuff. I'll probably release it at some point, whatever it turns into. This thing might even change mechanics and entire game type from map to map, I really have no plan outside of using it as a dumping ground for the weird shit in my head.

Stuff like that, but weirder and it can talk to you... and is pixely. If I can't make something of this then maybe I should just focus on web dev and my instruments. I'm going to be taking this project slow and easy, not really thinking too much and not setting deadlines. Some days I may not work on it at all and just play some damn video games to find inspiration, or read... or just play my guitars or ocarinas or draw... maybe work through a course on writing or on music theory.

Still working out the community system project, I might make the client in Godot, even. Just as a test of my skills. I could also do it in Go or Rust, which I had considered. I kinda like Godot in general for UI since it's a pretty straightforward license and I already have experience with it, not to mention it works on pretty much anything from mobile, to PC to console.

I also considered for a moment having a chat system in this little game project, just have an actual chat room that you can get to from the computer... would be novel I suppose.

Anyway, making progress now at least. Sure beats running in circles even if I have no idea where the hell I am going.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Cheers